Hey everyone! I'm cutting right to the chase because I've got like 10 minutes left, so here we go!
Transfer call night was yesterday. We had to be in our apartment by 7, which wasn't a big deal. The last two transfers, I haven't gotten a call---usually that means nothing too big is going to happen. So I really wasn't expecting one yesterday. I thought I had a pretty good guess as to who my new companion would be, and I was 99% sure that I was staying here in Prairieville.
I ended up being right as to staying. However, at 7:06 pm, our phone rang. I was slightly surprised, but not too much. I figured President Woods would want to talk to Sister Pennock about going home stuff, so I answered the phone with the expectation of handing it over to her. However, President said, "Sister Pedersen! Just the missionary I wanted to talk to!" He then proceeded to tell me that he had a new companion for me....in fact, she was so new, she wasn't in the mission yet.
Yup, you read that correctly. President Woods asked me to train the new sister missionary who gets here today (actually, the plane is supposed to land in about an hour.)
Needless to say, there was a good ten or so seconds of silence on my end of the phone before I could stutter out, "O-oh." President told me that he had the utmost confidence in me, and that I'd do a great job of training the new sister. He asked if I thought I could handle that. It was at this point my brain disconnected with the rest of my body, and my mouth just did it's own thing. I know this because I heard myself say, "Well President, I think so. I'll do my best!" While that's what I said, that is NOT what I was thinking. What I was thinking was more along the lines of...
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
And no, that was not a scream of excitement; it was more of sheer terror. I looked at Sister Pennock, and I'm guessing the blood must have drained out of my face because she gasped and said, "NO WAY. You're training?" I nodded. She stared at me a minute more, and asked, "Are you okay?" I sat there, staring back at her, and said slowly, "I'm...not...sure."
I had a good LONG chat with the Lord last night, and I've come to a few conclusions.First, this is possibly His way of fulfilling scripture:
Ether 12:27 says, "And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them."
Doctrine and Covenants 133:58-59 says, "the weak shall confound the wise...And by the weak things of the earth the Lord shall thrash the nations by the power of his Spirit."
1 Corinthians 1:27 says, "But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty."
Jacob 4:7---"Nevertheless, the Lord God showeth us our weakness that we may know that it is by his grace, and his great condescensions unto the children of men, that we have power to do these things."
And finally, Alma 26:12 says, "Yea, I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in his strength I can do all things; yea, behold, many mighty miracles we have wrought in this land, for which we will praise his name forever."
The scripture from Jacob and from Alma really stick out to me right now. I most definitely qualify as a "weak thing." But I am not alone.
The other conclusion I came to was that this was the surest way to humble me sufficiently so that I could learn something I've failed to learn thus far. He knew that this would bring me to my knees in honest, sincere, earnest, Enos-like prayer faster and more often than anything else. And boy, was He right!
In my long talk with Him before I went to bed last night, I laid out all my fears, all my worries, and most especially, all the reasons why I was NOT the right person for the job. And after I'd gotten done with that long list, I paused, and sat quietly for a moment. I remember the thought coming over and over, "With God, nothing is impossible." I chewed on that for a bit, and decided that yes, I did believe that was true. I also thought about Ether 12:27, which we'd just read with Honor a few days ago. There was no doubt in my mind (and there still isn't) that I was definitely a "weak thing." I then thought about how God keeps His promises, and about all the promises He's not only given missionaries, but all the promises He's given me specifically. I thought about how saying that I couldn't do it could be considered offensive to God, because in essense, that was me telling Him that I didn't think He could do it, that I didn't think He kept His promises. A little shudder ran through me, and I sat and pondered for another minute. I then finished my prayer with a timid, "But Father, not my will, but Thine be done."
I'm not perfect. I'm so far from it, it's not even funny. But I do know that this is an opportunity for me to develop my faith and my trust in the Lord. In not so many words, the Lord is telling me to put up, or shut up. ;) And so, I plan on wearing out the carpet next to my bed from kneeling so often, and wearing holes in my shoes from doing my best. "Work as though it all depends on you, then pray because it all depends on Him."
That's all for now. I love you all, and you'll hear more from me next week!
Your Friend in the Faith,
Sister Pedersen
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